Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Gift

The greatest gift in life can't be donned by expensive wrappers, can't be tied by colorful ribbons and can't be found in any fancy store. It's beyond what eyes can see and what a hand can grab.

Just look around and never let every little thing be taken for granted.
Don't forget to stand in front of the mirror and see the GIFT meant for them.
You are a gift that satisfies someone's heart in ANY SEASON...

By the way, Thank you.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Blah-gger

As I perched on my tilted chair with my nape leaned on and my face looking upward, I was hoping that a painted ceiling could amuse me. Right where I was seated, it felt like I'm being grilled by dullness. I squinted to the right, there was an empty chair and to the left was a colleague, dozed and slumped to his arm, drooling. So one must experience solitude some time but not all the time. I needed to talk to anyone about anything in anyhow. It was a moment of excruciating boredom and I am excruciatingly bored.

Computer, that's the closest thing visible to me. Talk to a machine with gestures, what will I suppose to say? 0110011010011? Speak the binary language? That must be nice but not when someone sees you. Unless you want them to think that you have left your sanity somewhere else. But yeah, talk to a computer, what are keyboards for? I opened a browser and my fingers sprightly on each keys, I typed on the address bar...www.blogger.com . I really don't know much about the site except the fact that you could create you own page and post anything you want. I just thought that must be cool.

I signed up, chose the template and there! A less ornate page no one would have an interest to view. It's a good thing I never told anyone that once, I dreamed to be a web designer or else after seeing my blog page, someone might sneer at me and ask where did I get the nerve to wish of becoming one. There's a link that says "comments" at the bottom, I know it was there for a reason but I guess I won't make use of it. I told myself that I would remove that option, but how? A primitive one still navigating through the settings. I forgot to remove it though, I prioritized on what would be my font, its size and whether I'll make it bold or italic. Yes, I took it seriously but end up with a funny crap page. I chuckled furtively on my seat, making fun of my boring piece.

The title. What would be the title? I thought of a nice one I could muster. "Iriz's Blog" would be nice but the 'Z' and 'S' slur together, I tried to pronounce it and there's a little effort separating 'z' and 's'. Try to pronounce it yourself so you would know (come on just try it). It sounds like a bee turning to a snake . I know I don't make sense that much but I must come up with a title that depicts one. Just like how Fish Eye got her title, I had learned that a fish eye is a kind of camera lens and relatively logical for posting about photography (am I right?). And so I pondered for my blog's sake.

I could say that how a person thinks and feels clearly define who he or she is. How you behave is based on the reasoning or arbitrary choices. Let's not define what's good from what's not, it doesn't matter, the point is, it's YOU. So you say "It's me" and you give them two choices, " take it or leave it". That's what I thought trying to come up with a good title, not sure if I'm right or wrong but one thing is certain, I got a title for my blog. That was the birth of Mind and Emotion.

Have you ever heard of an introvert blogger? Yes, someone who writes and yet she was so shy of letting someone else read it and so she reads her post alone. Introvert blogger, yes, that's me. I was writing on my desk doing my second post when a friend of mine emerged from the back. "What's that? Is that your blog?" she asked. I covered the monitor screen by my two hands and told her it was nothing. For a moment, I forgot that every browser has a minimize button that you can click on if by any chance you want to hide the active page. Way more convenient than covering the screen by your hands or feet. She forcibly removed my hand as if swatting a mosquito away. She gave me no choice and after going through it, "Why are you hiding it where in fact you have to let others read it?!". Her tone was somewhat threatening or she seemed in need of sedatives. She talked too much and too fast, I wasn't able to grasp some of her words but If I'll put it into brevity, I guess she meant like this, "Iriz,don't you see it? A blog is designed in an interactive format and you have to make sense of it. Now go and do some blog roll!". As I tried to absorb her words of wisdom, I thought to concede is the best way to shush her. "Really? Okay...", I said just to get away from it but I took her advice anyways.

I got my first comment! "Would you believe that?", I told myself. Someone just landed on my page and Finding Eben was the first one who found me.

Never thought I could write until I did. Perhaps one may doubt my words from what I say but not from what I write, I may not tell it all (Sorry, I don't want you to read a post that will take you two days to finish) but what was told must be undoubtedly real and from within.

Roaming around the blogosphere, I have seen a bigger world. From boredom it became my solace, from solace it became my home. A home with a door left ajar, you don't need to knock, you just come in. No competition 'coz one is solely unique from the other. You meet great people, not based on how they look but who they are. Here, you just dare to be you, and either through words or photos,you let your private mind transpire. They may care what you say but who cares how you say it? You just go on and bubble over. Incessant conversation through comments , it's like sitting with friends in a circle and everyone has their turn to say anything with buoyancy. We may have disparities but no opinion or comment is WRONG, 'coz here, we do it the WRITE way.

Okay, all I really want to say is...IT'S NICE TO BE BACK!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Swaying Goodbye (For a While)

I'll step out of the blogger world for a while. Perhaps a month or two or more. I'm not sure until when but one thing is certain...I'LL BE BACK. Undeniably, I will miss you all, the circle of friends we have. As I go, I'll carry this one I got from a friend 'coz this is the same great thing I have for each of you guys.

Love you all!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

I Explore

We paddled through the rushing water and every step was a darker mystery. With illuminating flashlights and accruing curiosity, we traversed the dim place. The deafening silence depicts that something is lurking behind, alluring us to come closer. My every step was done with caution or I'll find myself plunge into the shallow water, gain bruises of recklessness and a chance for them to laugh at me. What convenience do I have stepping on something I can't barely see? Thanks for the one who invented the flashlight. I went on, painstakingly.

An aloft squeaky sound passed through us, I felt the soft gush of air. Little wings flopped and I could vaguely visualize the adroit creature.

"Is that a...bat?" I asked.

"It is." My friend confirmed.

And I thought I made a hogwash question. Of course, what flying creature would I expect inside a CAVE?

"That might be a playful one who got lost and now finding the way abode or maybe the winged creature was just trying to break the boredom of hanging up there." I told myself.

So much for that bat. I was fascinated by the strange place, somewhere I've never been but always wanted to be. At the moment, it's not a just a mere image printed on a photo paper, I was there experiencing every detail. If you're not an adventurous type, you might not have the interest to scroll down. If you care to do so, just try to imagine, I was there and you're with me.

Careful okay....slippery surface can put you into shame...

Oops, it's darker here, well of course...

What if walls in your office will be like these? Would you still come to work?

Come on... don't think about earthquake, not now!

Look closer, just like scintillating diamonds.

See that? No exquisite hanging chandelier but what a great ceiling!
Those are Stalactites, it's a chemical reaction between water and limestone.
It's also a deposit of calcium carbonate resembling an icicle.
Will take million of years to form, so it's an extremely slooooow process.

It was a worthwhile experience...
Sometimes you have to scramble your life. Go somewhere you've never been, do something you haven't done. For a moment, leave that boisterous city and forget that heap of work. Look forward for something unusual, I'm not saying you go for caving but anything that allures your interest.
Perhaps, that bat which flipped and flopped left the usual herd hanging on the cave's palate and then tried to explore, and just like that winged creature, you can also break the boredom.

Cacupangan Cave
Mabini Pangasinan, Philippines

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Auditory Sense

It became a usual scene, a table between as she seated in front of me like a purring cat gone insane.

"Iriz, tell me what must i do?" she asked.

"Get out of it. You just told me...that man is still living with his wife who will give birth few months from now. One day you'll have your own family and I'm sure you won't be glad to know your husband is having an affair with his employee." I gave my advice.

"But I love him." She retorted.

We all know that the word "but" is a conjunction where two phrases are joined together, the word is usually in between. In her case, "but" is where everything begins.

"Sometimes you have to choose what is right over what you want. I'm telling you, it's a mess." Me, pressing it harder.

We've been discussing the issue for the nth time. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advise... guess what? I gave her one. And as we looked at it in a split overview, it seemed we're both consistent.

For couple of days she'd been struggling with flu. I bought her medicine and kept track of her intake. She told me it's not just a flaming temperature, once again she's being attacked by her cervical infection. It was her major health problem for years but stopped to get medical assistance when she began to feel better.

"Don't you think it would be better to consult a doctor? I'll accompany you." I insinuated and so we did.

I was waiting at the lobby, she slowly approached and with her pale face I'm not expecting her to tell me she's fine.

"What did the doctor say? " I was gleaning for details.

She clutched my hand as if I'm going to run somewhere. I could feel her trembling flesh and it began to bother me more.

"What?" In a demanding tone, I asked.

"I-t-s p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e." She stammered.

Few words followed, enough for elaboration. I looked into her eyes and I saw the break of the dawn. A tear didn't easily fall but it surrounded her eyes like a deep well of fear I could not fathom. In my mind, I found a scant vocabulary to pick the right words that would console her. It's more than just a cervical issue...

She got a Sexually Transmitted Disease...

The doctor asked her to go back with her partner but it never happened. The guy she used to love ditched her in the middle of abyss. Then there came darker revelations, her colleague, the accountant, was also having an affair with her boss. It's a circle of fools and I hate to know she belonged.

Did you ever come to a point when you sought for advice, you got the best one but you just didn't take it?

I did.

Now I'm thinking about my parents. From the kitchen, my mother would usually remind me in a shrill voice.

"Iriz, make sure that you bring umbrella, I think it's going to rain!"

"Yes Ma, I gotta go. Bye." I responded with a little lie just to leave her at peace.

Then I wafted through the door without any umbrella at hand believing it's going to be a sunny day but it turned out that my mother was right. The next day, I was not feeling well.

Sure, I didn't get STD on that day but that made no difference between me and my friend. I am just like her. Sometimes...

We hear but we don't listen...

Hearing is using your auditory sense. Listening is processing the data that was gathered by your auditory sense. So hearing is just hearing alone but listening is hearing that requires thinking. Do I make sense?

It's good to rely on our own judgement and consider certain actions, by then we can call ourselves " DECISIVE". But that doesn't mean we have to shut our mind from external opinions and concerns. You might not know how these few words can save you from trouble. Hear, listen and weigh things over.

Years had passed and regarding health and emotion my friend fully healed.

And yes, my mother doesn't have to shout as I leave the house. Rain or shine, I always have my umbrella on the go.

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Science of Cuts and Stitches

Along with our fluid society comes the human race with unstoppable innovation. They discover, experiment, and dare to achieve more. With array of indelible breakthroughs, could we say that we had lived our lives to the fullest? Science is too vast and discoveries are spontaneous but narrowing it down as we focused on human itself, let's talk about the science which also becomes the current lucrative and risky business here in Asia....Cosmetic Surgery.

A colleague of mine spent a not so frugal expense of P74,000 to have his nose done. He loathed his big flat nose and swear to heaven that one day he'll have that pointed nose he'd been coveting for. After series of medical examination, finally, he undergone 3 hours of operation. During the recovery period of two weeks, there was an abstinence from oily food, he was not allowed to smile or laugh, or any facial movement that will intrude the nose in progress. So I thought at that moment, if you're holding grudges against him and you want to get even, tickling his feet is the best revenge.

The result was good. It was like a pencil turned around the sharpener...pointed. He adored himself like never before and his boyfriend loved it (yeah, you read it right).

It's been a trend that after a certain operation and desired result was achieved, one keeps coming back for more. In the business of cosmetic surgery, people are going across countries within Asia to look for affordable prices. Few months ago, I've read from The Reader's Digest magazine that major spots are Thailand, Korea and Singapore. Seems that we have nations in the pursuit of perfection.

Here, someone who was once a customer of cosmetic surgery is called "retokado" from the word "retoke", meaning "repair". The process itself we called "Thank you Doc". Sounds like you owe someone a huge favor though you just paid for it, tax inclusive. Nowadays, people are very open about it and going to cosmetic surgery ain't a secret. But it's also "ain't a secret" that during surgical operation, there are failures which lead to death. Life...that's too much as a trade for vanity.

I'd like to be a surgeon but I want to do it in a life saving situation. Let's say you're too clumsy walking , you slip on the ground and lay on the railroad, then a train passes your face. If that happens, might as well borrow a face from a dog or just call me, the surgeon to the rescue. But anyways, I'm daydreaming here, it's too late to shift career though.

My body alone can define the word "imperfect" and heaven forgive me for hating it sometimes. I'm fine with changes for it is inevitable but I don't want to do it in a drastic manner especially if health is a huge thing to consider. But this doesn't mean that I'm trying to contempt people who have silicon implanted under their breast or those who are wrapped like mummy after extracting fats from liposuction. I guess people have different interpretation for the adage "love thy body".

Whether it's vanity or anything other than that. For whatever reason one may have, the world revolves in a fast pace and human had found ways to make things easier. Thanks to science and technology, we have gained tremendous advantages. Just beware of the other way around.

Cosmetic surgery...the science where it's just a matter of being ready to go under the knife.
Ooppss....sorry not that one.
There you go...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Just In Time

Why is it that when you're in so much hurry, JUST IN TIME, things turn VERY SLOW? Feels like chance is smiling at me peevishly.

On the road, loading stations were jam-packed with people making their ways to schools and offices. Fortunately, I was the one of those who had a great and laborious morning on the way to work. I clambered through the bus not being sure if I could make it inside and with the hope that chance will be so kind to have me spot a vacant seat. If not, I have no choice but to stand up, grip on bars to keep my balance and wait 'till the bus is partially unloaded. It occurred to me that gentlemen nowadays can be considered as endangered species and I'm afraid they're close to non-existence. In a public vehicle like this, expecting a guy to stand up and offer his seat to you is like winning the major prize in a most exciting raffle draw. So, I gave myself a wish of good luck.

Luckily, I got my individual seat.

Must be at work as early as 8:00AM but the bus was making a turtle-like motion. There was no car accident on the way or a crowd having massive social rally, one can call it just an ordinary day. This explains why people in our local area are starting to believe that heavy traffic isn't an issue but something to embrace as "normal". Who would ever thought that normal can be so ridiculous as this?

Since the vehicle was at the same spot for so long, I could tell you that it felt like we're in a parking lot. The weight of the bus remained static on the ground and the gravity on earth is not helping me. I'd like to to push the window open, crane my neck out and shout at the top of my lungs "What the @%^#$? is this?! Move your wheels! I'm getting late!" But of course...that's a stupid idea so there's no way that I'll do that, just a by-product of my burning frustration. I remained on my seat holding sobs.

I can't blame the bus driver who managed the steering wheel, can't blame the car before us which also waited on the long queue, can't blame the innocent traffic lights that no matter what color it had didn't make any difference with the traffic flow, can't blame the traffic enforcer...for I didn't see any. So let me blame the government for not being able to construct wider roads and let me blame myself for having an erroneous estimation of time to reach my destination. Wish I could dig a tunnel that begins from our house and ends straight to my office. Don't you think that would be great?

When the bus made a complete halt to unload passengers, I rushed out the door and crossed the road. I got only few minutes and to beat the time I'd like to run just how they do it in marathons. But no, not with my 3-inch high heels. I actually hate high heeled shoes but I'm pretty sure you won't like to see me wearing a corporate attire with comfy slippers.

At last, I'm at the main entrance of the building but it's not yet over. The elevator was waiting for me, it opened up and employees rushed in. I'm in a total impatient mode as the elevator stopped at every floor.
Finally, I'm at the 11th floor and made my way to our training room. I didn't think that greeting them a "Good morning!" was appropriate at the moment and for me.

A smile along with my shrinking feeling, I uttered...

"I'm sorry....I'm late"

No matter how you rant today due to heavy traffic, distance between your house and work office will be the same distance you'll go through by tomorrow. So either you reside to a closer location or wake up earlier. Perhaps you could include that huge tunnel as well. Can you think of any other options?

Thursday, May 22, 2008


Look at those eyes... it seems like she's saying a favor you could hardly resist...
How about her fur like cottons to touch? One may want to give her a hug...
You might wish to pinch her sweet little nose...Don't you find her beguilingly cute?
You know when you patiently heat a pan and have the oil hot enough for the white meat and you're too hungry to cook and serve yourself ?
Then you have it well cooked and placed it on your table only to be eaten by NEIGHBOR'S CAT!
Why can't she wait 'till i finish my meal? By then I can have the fish bone shared.
Oh...my last glance on that crispy fish tail as she ran for her living.
I don't know if she has a name but maybe I can give her one like...THIEF!
She must be a wolf in a cat clothing.
Great...i had to forge myself a satisfaction with a can good!
That cat is smart by the way...and I...feel like a fool.
(Don't worry, she's still alive and had the nerve to show up on me to had herself captured )

Deceitful...we have them around, with greedy fangs and sharp claws to grasp a dark chance but not all of them do meow...it might be just someone beside you with a sweet smile.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Extra Syrup

I came from an event that began late at night and ended too early in the morning. It was 3:00am and heading home alone won't be safe. I stopped by a 24-hour fastfood restaurant to have some breakfast. Pancake, it's always been my favorite and made my order.

On my table, it was served hot with butter and syrup at the side accompanied by coffee and pineapple juice. Two thin and fluffy pancakes, I took my first bite. I could sense an awful taste, the second bite. I'm wondering if it's the pancake or the syrup, the third bite. For a pancake, it's a taste offensive for my taste bud. It's sour!!!

As grimace traced on my face, I read something printed on their plate just below their proud name. "A taste that will keep you coming back"

Yeah right...

I called for a crew. "Excuse me, can you please check this one? It taste awfully sour."
The crew brought the pancake back to the kitchen and went back on me not able to deliver a precise explanation.
"Just go ahead, replace it." Me, being too tired for the day.

I've always been their customer exclusively for pancake. I won't come in to their store unless I'm craving for one. The second serving was great, to my surprise, for the first time in the history, pancakes were thick and wide and I could splurge with syrup. Is that what you call a peace offering? And from the crew who made the second serving, I had learned that a vinegar was accidentally diluted with the mixture.

As I made my slices, I guess the syrup wasn't enough so I called someone for assistance
"Is your Manager here?" I asked.
"Yes Mam" a polite response from the crew.
"Good, get me an extra syrup and your Manager please" My favor and demand.
"Manager Mam?" the crew asked who I guess a bit deaf and gave my clear "Yes".

Staff around were somehow frozen and every one's looking at me as the Manager approached. With how I see them it was like they could sense an impending trouble.
"Are you the Manager?" For me, he neither look like a security guard...nor a Manager.
"Yes Mam. Anything I can do for you?" the Manager asked.
"Oh yes, can you make sure that all your condiments are in proper place?" I responded.
The Manager gave me a blank face.
"And keep it away from your pancake mixtures". I continued.

As I am distracted by his wide forehead, I narrated what happened to give him a full idea.

"Well, I'm not totally upset (If I do you'll see how it is to be slapped by a pancake). We make mistakes (thinking of a cook working in a 24-hour store and haven't got enough sleep) but as the Manager (which I doubt) you should know what's happening inside the kitchen. I just don't want it to happen again, not just to me but to all of your customers".

There was a burning shame in him and I'm trying to lessen the tension by keeping a smile. Through his eyes I'm pretty sure he's wondering how was I able to manage a composure after the frivolous service. No, I'm not trying to be nice, Im just too tired to throw the table out of the store.
He apologized sincerely and thanked me for my concern.

Vinegar in my pancake? I let it slide...anyways it's an ingredient frequently found in my mother's recipes. I don't really have an intention to make a scene, I just don't want to leave the place knowing I haven't speak up my mind. As a customer, it's my right to give negative feedback but I guess being frank doesn't necessarily be loud and raging.

In situations where you have to speak up to raise your point don't hesitate to do so 'coz you might leave the room with "could have beens" and "might have beens". As a customer, you have a say on how they render service and your negative feedback is a vital piece for them to do better with their business. Go complain!

In my case, I can't ask the spoon and fork to stand up for me and uphold with my point or have the pancake fold itself into two, form like a mouth and do the talking. Well, that's cool! But the the thing is we're not in a puppet show.

I reached home with a peaceful belly and I'm thinking what if it's not a vinegar? What if it's a cockroach or something? Well, they should apologize but it's going to be beside a lawyer

Hmm...again...I'm craving for a pancake...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Kids: I guess What They Mean Is...

My older sister got married and now has 3 wonderful kids. Well, me, playing the role of a nice Aunt has no choice but to call them wonderful. Lol. Kidding aside, they really are. They used to call me "Tita I" (Tita means Aunt).
Anytime my sister is not around and I have to keep an eye on them is a moment that I realized the laden of being a parent. During lunch when everyone was so busy consuming their food, I had noticed the youngest one can't balance the spoon very well. I offered to do it for her but she intensely refused. The spoon turned out to be a rope being pulled from different directions that whoever let go first will lose. Of course... she won. As she struggled to take the food into her mouth 15% was successfully swallowed and travelled through her belly, 80% fell helplessly onto the table. The 5%? Stranded between her teeth. The little girl enjoyed her lunch and I hoped I feel the same way as I cleaned her mess. Watching me as I picked some grains, the beam on her face was like telling me she had done something perfectly on that day.
I guess kids really mean that sometimes you have to get out of your box and take initiative. There are things you won't learn unless you do it on your own. If you want to be good on something, no one can stop you...even your most pretty Aunt.
Busy doing home chores, I let the kids play on the floor with toys cluttered and had the chance to go upstairs. As I arranged my stuff, I heard a commotion and dodged through my way downstairs. There, two kids I left with serenity a while ago are now trying to slay each other. You know toys? They aren't just for fun, it can also create a chaotic atmosphere and can be very useful for a kid under emotional rage and feels the need to hit someone. Dolls turned flying saucers, bolted through the air and reached the ground dilapidated.
"Stop it! I said stop it!" I scolded after making my quick few steps. The two little monsters were too ferocious to unravel and seemed too deaf to hear me. After few minutes, finally, I was physically between them.
"What's the problem huh?" The interrogation began.
"She stole my car!!!" An accusation from the little boy screaming for justice.
"I just want to borrow it!!!" A defense from the little girl trying to acquit herself.
"Okay...okay..." Me, thinking if I could bring it to the supreme court.
Unfortunately, the judge, their mum, wasn't around so I had to take and weigh things over. And to be little less harsh I made sure that whatever my verdict would be won't lead to imprisonment.
"Little boy, why don't you just let her borrow your toy for a while. Anyways you have a lot of other toys to play with, I'll just make sure that you'll have it later. And you (looking at the little girl) promise him you'll give it back and don't forget to thank him" I closed the deal.
The little girl did nod and the boy turned his back, he gave way but with a heavy heart, found a corner and play as he wept. Being swamped by so many things to do, much of my time was wasted but I had to sit for a while and stay more to assure that the war had ceased. The little girl stood beside me, her elbow touched my knee. Handling the toy, she got what she wanted but unhappy seeing her only playmate for the day with river of tears.
"Go, say sorry to your brother" I uttered. A bit hesitant but slowly made her way to the corner and gave the toy back.
"Brother...I'm sorry, let's just play." She sheepishly uttered as she hugged her brother and gave him a kiss.
I'm telling you, they look really cute and I tried to remember if I've been like that to my brother when we were young. I'm still trying to recall until now and perhaps by tomorrow I still do.
I guess kids mean that siblings with given disparities on attitude and thinking is just one reason not to expect a total harmony. Conflicts will come your way but what vital is you know how to forgive, far more than that, you also need to know how to admit your mistakes and apologize.
I love having conversation with kids.
"Tita, when I grow up I'll buy you a bunch of slippers!." The little girl told me with enthusiasm as she moved her hands trying to describe a mountain.
"Wow! well that's great but where will you get the money to buy me some?" I asked with a smile.
"Ummm...I'll asked grandma to give me money!" She answered then I took a pause.
"That is so sweet!" I responded with appreciation and gave her a tight hug not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
She could have answered "I'll finish my study, find a good job and earn a living" or something like that, by then she can purchase a slew of slippers enough for me and our neighbors. But talking to a 3-year old kid wanting to do something extra for her Aunt, it's definitely a smart and sweet answer.
I guess kids mean that one must have a dream, even little ones and when you dream go share it. On the day of your triumph, you'll never know how many people will be proud of you 'coz they know as you declared. If you failed, well that's a shame but at least you still have them around to sympathize for the same reason...they know.
Haggard from work, I reached home and opened the door. After the squeaky sound were tiny shrill voices "Tita I!!!". One hugged my right leg, the other hung into my waist while the other was pulling down my left arm. I hobbled as I came in. My nieces and nephew stayed and waited for me 'till evening. Smart kids, they know it's my payday. I put down the box of donuts and they ate it like a tornado. After a while, my niece pushed herself up and sat on my lap.
"Tita, I miss you and I love you" I was touched by the little monster who used to let me always clean her mess.
"I miss and I love you too...So where's my kiss?" I tenderly responded and asked.
She pulled her sleeve and wiped out the flour on her mouth that she got from eating donuts. I felt little hands on my cheeks and gave me a kiss on my lips. I was amazed how kids freely say what they feel.
I guess kids mean let them know. If you missed them, what's stopping you to say it? You'll never know how these little things touch the biggest part of their hearts.
Kids, they have a lot of things to share but I guess they don't really need to say what they truly mean.

 Ichan...signing off...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Show is Over

She thought she'll get hurt to hear the truth.
Surprisingly she was just disappointed and had a deep sleep by night.
You could have said nothing when she asked you, leaving it as a secret instead of a lie.

You made her believed.

Now, don't you think it's time to give yourself a little rest?
'Coz the show is OVER.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Game of Fire

Have you ever spent a night with someone and by the next day your ways crossed, exchanged hi's and hellos as if nothing happens? The casual way.

Playing game is fun but how far can you go to please yourself?
This might be one of your games...Are you ready?

Straight from her lips, she confessed. Details by details, how it began and how long it's been goin' on. The set up? No commitment, no strings attached...just a bed buddy. It's when two pieces of flesh joined together, did such thing over and over but never talked about it. Well, I guess that is just fine not unless one gives in and goes beyond the agreement.

She became emotionally susceptible and felt a pinch whenever another girl roves around her bed buddy. In every game, there's a rule and NO DEMANDS is a big thing for this one.

The guy, on the other hand shows no strong feelings of any kind. And the girl admitted that made her flinched. I don't believe that the guy wasn't aware of how she feels. Someone's trying to pretend that everything's fine.He knows but tries ignore it and so the game goes on.

One thing is for sure, in the middle of the spiralling flame is a burning dilemma.

Dunno how will it end but it's a matter of choice and how you adhere with it.
Whether it is wrong or right, I'll leave it all to them, I'll leave it all to you.
Anyways it's hard to judge and show total acuity on a situation you've never been.

I'm not here to lay my verdict.
Just here to remind the adage "YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS"
Wanna play?
For the one who wants to initiate, don't lay all your cards, if you do...that's how you'll lose the game.
For the one who wants to join, go ahead...amuse yourself but be cautious enough to be aware of what a fire can burn. Ashes ain't a broken glass, no pieces to reclaim.

This is the game of fire.
Now, can you tell me who wins?

Sunday, March 09, 2008


In equation, when formula gets tough due to COMPLEXITY, we might need to go back and master the BASIC. It will take another time but getting the right answer is what really matters
In life, when situations gets tough and COMPLICATED, after exhausting everything, we might as well go back from where we BEGIN. It's not a waste of time either 'coz as we travel back, we know we just learned a lot.
Sometimes the ambiguity of life is resolved by having it SIMPLIFIED.
I'm starting to simplify one equation of my life.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Web of Lies

She declared to be a rich girl, living in a big house and enjoying an extravagant life. A father who was a professional physical therapist and a mother who stays at home as a good housewife - bits and pieces that made herself fit for the chosen crowd. She spent every day of her life in pretending and keeping the image she created. All were lies.

But no matter how she tried to keep everything as impeccable as how her words sound, the truth found its way to slip itself out. By the end, she was entrapped by the web of her own lies. A moment of shame that she almost wished the ground would shake, open wide and swallow her whole.

As one of her friends who was exasperated of such attitude, I confronted her. We always wanted to see her free from such extreme lies. With a soft voice, I went straight on every word I could let go, up to a point where I don't even care if I hurt her feelings. We did our part as her friends, she did lend an ear but she needs to do more than just listening. Our efforts were in vain.

Our friendship turned a total wreck. Haven't heard any news about her but I'm still hoping she got a chance to build the broken pieces of truth that could have saved a lot.

I guess this girl has a psychological problem. Too bad...I'm not a psychiatrist...

A lie to be persuasive enough needs to be backed up by another lie, followed by another, and so on and so forth. No man is completely honest, I agree. There are situations where a strand of lie can be a better rope to hold on or cover up a point that will definitely turn to worse. But when it's rampant and start to fester your individuality or harm other feelings, then I guess...you're in trouble.

It tangles as it twist the truth.

I heard a lot, I've seen how lies are orchestrated. They were squeaky-clean...spotless as it may seem and I who had witnessed it now hardly believes.

I can commit honesty, that's easy, but first...convince me more.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Every Heart

Let there be no reason for everyone to be less of LOVE

If you can't FIND it...

Have a happy heart ;0)

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Am I being too picky?


" I'm a busy person and gushing with guys isn't my thing, just one of the reasons why I remain single. As I knuckle down myself into work there are guys who still have guts to invite me for a date. I appreciate the time and attention but how can i accept such invitation?

Mr. X is very talkative.When we converse, the spotlight was focused on him. He'll brag about his business, his car and everything external to him that I don't really care about. Since we're working night shift he would invite me for a breakfast and offer to drive me home. Isn't that sweet? Guess what i found out?...He's married

Mr. Y never fails to compliment me. A guy who's certainly expressive and impulsive. Without any convivial talk, he bluntly invited me for a date. Is he running out of time that he needs to do it in a hurried pace? I think it's better to go out with someone you've been friend for quite a while. Regardless of the approach,I could have said yes if only i never learned that at the same time ...he's courting another girl

Forget about Mr. Z, he's nothing but a variable with the same insincerity.

Date is a process of getting to know each other. Who would take time to know more of people who are in the first place fooling around? They said that I should have at least tried to go out, anyway "it's just a date". I'm not sure if I'm right and their wrong. I just want to go out with a guy who can be himself.

My friend told me that I'm too picky. Am I? Can someone tell me where are the sincere guys in this world? Are they playing hide and seek?"

I was a member of an anonymous blogger community before but then I stopped and continued writing at blogger.com. We are all total strangers and none of my closest friends were able to read it. Suddenly, it crossed my mind and decided to visit my page, there I found this post and decided to repost it here.

Going through it, I realized there are things that changed.

-I stopped telling "I am busy". If you keep on telling "I don't have time", you won't really find time.
-I don't knuckle down myself at work anymore. I take it easy.
-For those who throw invitations, I still appreciate the time and effort but this time I think I have to accept it (sincere ones). I'll give them a chance, at least a moment.

And if good guys are playing hide and seek wether they're in jungles, caves or into the depth of oceans, why not take a pause and appreciate what's right next to me waving hands close to my face.

A friend of mine made me promise that I won't say "NO" to any good intentions about to come. That I will start kissing frogs 'till I find my prince. I told her I met my prince and told me that the problem is he never looked at me as a princess. Ouch! Just another slap on my face and so we just focus on my promise and it's just for good intentions, not for X and Y guys.

Too bad...I'm keeping my words.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Point of Realization

It never happened...NOT because "It's not meant to be" BUT because you haven't done your BIG move for the sake of it.
You just stare at it and let it slip away...
So now, you lie into the ocean of regrets.
Will it be too late?
Will there be another chance?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Will You Just Live the Day or Plan for Tomorrow?

Year ended, year started... So how things went on us for the passed 365 days?

I bought a planner last year. Accompanied by a friend, she saw me handling the thing and asked me in perplexity, "What are you suppose to do with that?!"

Though she sounded like she wanted me to bring it back from where I got it, I know she's not playing ignorant and I'm sure she knows how in this world it is being used. My friend just can't get the point of planning a "day".

Half of the year, I forgot about the planner. It rested inside my closet and hadn't got a time to glance on it. The year ended, I found my planner back and turned every pages.

From the month of January to June, I enjoyed knowing details of what had happened from the past, what I had accomplished and little tasks left unchecked because I failed to do so.

It's when I plan for tomorrow...

I went through the month of July to December, pages were neat with no trace of my pointed pen. But I know since events went unplanned, I got a lot of surprises along the way. Things went done without me worrying too much.

It's when I just live the day...

The comparison:

Just because you plan for the next day doesn't mean you're too anxious for tomorrow, anyway being organized won't hurt. Well, you don't really need to purchase a planner. Having a mental notes of your goals will be fine though writing it down and making it visible is a good way of reminding yourself. The downside? You hate surprises. It's annoying when your boss begs you for an overtime and it's on your plan to go home early so you can do your stuff. You hate it when someone calls you for an immediate reason and you're supposed to stay at home because that's your plan for your most awaited rest day.

On the other hand...

Just because you go ahead live the day doesn't mean you don't really give attention. It's always a great thing to live a carefree life, enjoying and taking each moment. The downside? You misses out little things that soon can be a part of a big mistake. Enjoying too much might lead you to boredom at the end because you never realize certain things were getting mundane. And of course you hate to see someone carrying a planner and ask that person in an amusing tone "What are you suppose to do with that?!"

Which way is better? Which one works for you? I'll be glad to know and collate some good points. ;0)