Sunday, August 03, 2008

Auditory Sense

It became a usual scene, a table between as she seated in front of me like a purring cat gone insane.

"Iriz, tell me what must i do?" she asked.

"Get out of it. You just told me...that man is still living with his wife who will give birth few months from now. One day you'll have your own family and I'm sure you won't be glad to know your husband is having an affair with his employee." I gave my advice.

"But I love him." She retorted.

We all know that the word "but" is a conjunction where two phrases are joined together, the word is usually in between. In her case, "but" is where everything begins.

"Sometimes you have to choose what is right over what you want. I'm telling you, it's a mess." Me, pressing it harder.

We've been discussing the issue for the nth time. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advise... guess what? I gave her one. And as we looked at it in a split overview, it seemed we're both consistent.

For couple of days she'd been struggling with flu. I bought her medicine and kept track of her intake. She told me it's not just a flaming temperature, once again she's being attacked by her cervical infection. It was her major health problem for years but stopped to get medical assistance when she began to feel better.

"Don't you think it would be better to consult a doctor? I'll accompany you." I insinuated and so we did.

I was waiting at the lobby, she slowly approached and with her pale face I'm not expecting her to tell me she's fine.

"What did the doctor say? " I was gleaning for details.

She clutched my hand as if I'm going to run somewhere. I could feel her trembling flesh and it began to bother me more.

"What?" In a demanding tone, I asked.

"I-t-s p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e." She stammered.

Few words followed, enough for elaboration. I looked into her eyes and I saw the break of the dawn. A tear didn't easily fall but it surrounded her eyes like a deep well of fear I could not fathom. In my mind, I found a scant vocabulary to pick the right words that would console her. It's more than just a cervical issue...

She got a Sexually Transmitted Disease...

The doctor asked her to go back with her partner but it never happened. The guy she used to love ditched her in the middle of abyss. Then there came darker revelations, her colleague, the accountant, was also having an affair with her boss. It's a circle of fools and I hate to know she belonged.

Did you ever come to a point when you sought for advice, you got the best one but you just didn't take it?

I did.

Now I'm thinking about my parents. From the kitchen, my mother would usually remind me in a shrill voice.

"Iriz, make sure that you bring umbrella, I think it's going to rain!"

"Yes Ma, I gotta go. Bye." I responded with a little lie just to leave her at peace.

Then I wafted through the door without any umbrella at hand believing it's going to be a sunny day but it turned out that my mother was right. The next day, I was not feeling well.

Sure, I didn't get STD on that day but that made no difference between me and my friend. I am just like her. Sometimes...

We hear but we don't listen...

Hearing is using your auditory sense. Listening is processing the data that was gathered by your auditory sense. So hearing is just hearing alone but listening is hearing that requires thinking. Do I make sense?

It's good to rely on our own judgement and consider certain actions, by then we can call ourselves " DECISIVE". But that doesn't mean we have to shut our mind from external opinions and concerns. You might not know how these few words can save you from trouble. Hear, listen and weigh things over.

Years had passed and regarding health and emotion my friend fully healed.

And yes, my mother doesn't have to shout as I leave the house. Rain or shine, I always have my umbrella on the go.


the donG said...

"Sometimes you have to choose what is right over what you want.">>>

good point. in fact, it should most of the time be doing right over just what you want.

it's nice to have discovered your blog.

Lawstude said...

we really could only do so much. it is still up to the person if she/heed our advise or not. and most often than not, they usually just need another person to tell them what they have been thinking all along.

have a nice day iriz.

iriz said...

Nice to have you here as well.
Indeed a good point to do what is right over what you want.
In addendum to that...


Thanks. :)


Do we have such thing like that relative to the Philippine Constitution? *wink*

The lawyer is right, we just do our part which is partaking what we think is just. Then we leave the final decision to the other person.

And base on what i've seen, when it comes emotions, people are apt to make arbitrary decisions.

Thanks, I got a nice day! ;)

polona said...

giving advice is a tricky thing... they say wise men don't need it and fools don't listen anyway...
but i think you have made a point here...

goatman said...

Your friend was lucky to have you to support her, even if she might not take each advice you give.

Just saw a neat quote:
"Nobody tries to steal your troubles, and no one can take your good deeds."
Yiddish folk saying

Keep smiling!!!!

iriz said...


Yeah, that's right, so maybe that would mean we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Well, that is if everything turns into a mess.


And that makes me feel not so lucky coz she didn't take That's ok anyways, sometimes we won't learn 'till we make mistakes.

That was a nice Yiddish saying! Thank you.

A smile for you mr goatman ;)

Vandita said...

hey iriz
just dropped by to let u know that i blogrolled u :)
u'll see me here a lot more often now!

Abhishek Khanna said...

nice one.. n well said..

KarmaLennon said...

Beautiful, beautiful post and just what I needed to read right now. "But I love him" had been my refrain for the past six months.....yesterday he went too far and I finally listened to all my friends' advice, the same advice they'd been giving me. I did what was right for me even though I didn't want to and it hurts and I let him go. BUT I know I'll be better off now. :) Thanks, Iriz!

ghraceL said...

i liked it.. :p

iriz said...


Nice to hear from you :)
Of course, expect me on your page as well...

We might just bumped into each other on the way.;)


Thank you for that.

Nice day abhi! ;)


Dear,that must be a tough 6 months. It's not always too late to listen to your buddies and make the right decision "BUT" of course it's still your own judgement that dominates.

You told me before that you wrote a book about being numb, so maybe now you can write one about letting go. That must be a great one. ;)

Feel better ok. ;)

iriz said...


sorry latency sa comments.

naks, napapadaan, hehe.

nice to know you like it.
when i said "we hear but we don't listen",did i sound like i'm also talking about you? lol.just kidding.;)

Erick said...

nice one! guilty ako sa ganito. hehe!

An ILLuS|On said...

"Did you ever come to a point when you sought for advice, you got the best one but you just didn't take it?"

Yes i think so..sometimes you don't want to go for the right choice..its the opposite that we so desperately want to become the right choice..sometimes there is a way but sometimes there isn't & one has to accept their fate..i don't know but like they say love is blind & i won't disagree:)

iriz said...


Thanks! Wag kang mag-alala di ka nag-iisa. hehe.


You made your point here. people tend to decide not based on reasoning but based on personal choices. When one has no choice, we really can't blame them.

But do we really have no choice or it's just one way to escape from something? Whatever.;)

Yeah,love is blind.

I agree.

Thanks. ;)

An ILLuS|On said...

and what i meant to say was that sometimes all these realities,these logics don't tend to give you the promised share of joys & happiness..sometimes one should go for whatever their heart says..although at first it might seem to be impossible but eventually you could make things right..yes logically speaking some things don't seem to be right for you but logics are flawed the end i believe a balanced decision should be done considering both the realities (logic) & your could try balancing em just to make things happen but sometimes even this balancing isn't possible thats the time when one should realize that you can't do much about it apart from giving up & accepting your fate.
sesshhh..i am done:)
don't know whether i have any sense or not but still i tried:S

An ILLuS|On said...

*whether i have made any sense or not but still i tried:S

iriz said...

It's more than just making sense AN ILLUSION, you come across sagely.

"all these realities,these logics don't tend to give you the promised share of joys & happiness..sometimes one should go for whatever their heart says..although at first it might seem to be impossible but eventually you could make things right"

Great idea.

I need these words.

Of course you did. Definitely.

Thanks for being here.;)

An ILLuS|On said...

your welcome iriz:)
sometimes as they say hoping for hope against hope works wonders..i don't know but i have always believed in doing whatever i feel like without thinking much about what others would think or i might sound like a self centered person but whenever we consider other people/reasons it becomes difficult (almost impossible) to make a decision & after all in the end you are the one to deal with why we shouldn't be taking decisions by our own at the first place (off course by mutual consent with our dear ones)..i don't know what i am talking about iriz..i just feel like carrying on with this conversation of ours..bottom line is that i have taken few very important decisions of my life all by myself & according to the logic i'd regret over them for the rest of my life but my heart says give a damn about all these logics & for once in my life i'd do what my heart says regardless of whatever the logics have to say & regardless of whatever the outcome would take care & see you around..ciao:)

iriz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
iriz said...

i could feel you AN ILLUSION, been there.

My world revolves with people i dearly love and every decision entails weighing things over. one way or another, we really have to stop considering others but follow what the heart says.but again, it's not an easy thing...

it was a great conversation i must say. ;)

An ILLuS|On said...

the feeling's mutual iriz..i felt good after saying it all out here & believe you me nothing is easy in this world..atleast thats what i think..anyways see you around..hang tight & stay put;)

iriz said...


and thanks for hanging around. ;)