Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I Almost Forgot

Dumbfounded, I was about to bite my lips but my jaw dropped. If there's someone willing to get in, certainly, it's not me. They didn't pin me down but rather put me there where my right to decline was overlooked. An excuse is a "no" in disguise so I tried to make an acceptable one. But before I could unlatch my lips to utter my sweet escape, all needed materials were laid in front of me. "Get ready" , my teacher said.

I could draw shapes and lines but with complete honesty I never thought of it as a legitimacy for competition. The class has limited options or rather no options at all to pick for the representative. On my fifth grade in school, all I wanted was to join a Science quiz bee, not an on-the-spot poster making contest. So I asked myself, "Why me? Any other living organism?"

The truth is I didn't feel bad, I felt shy. I entered the room with shambled feet. A lone empty chair was waiting for me. With my white cartolina (white thick paper for sketching) laid flat on the spatial table, the competition began. Just in time my mind went blank. If I got nothing to start, what more do I have to win?

I harrased my imagination, that's the term you use if you force anything that is not ready. The theme for the poster making contest was about garbage segregation and I was afraid that by the time it ends, the austerity of my piece would make it fit for a trash. Well, then, I should know it's non-biodgradable.

If it's about garbage segregation then I thought maybe I could start with something clean and cozy. Trash cans with labels, people wearing a kind of smile that I don't. With pencil and colors, my left hand began to work.

The awarding came like a bad weather - you know it's coming but there's no way to stop it. To lose was long since anticipated. It was uncomfortable not because I had hope to win but because the awarding was just an explicit way of letting others know how hapless I am by not mentioning my name.

The host began to call names...

Drum rolls...

Okay, as if I have exciting next to say. Of course, I didn't get the 1st place. But with my eyes popped out, I got the 2nd place. Initially, I took it as a joke but when they asked me to be on stage, it was then that I realized they were serious. My prize? An Avon bag filled with art materials, huge enough to carry me home. I just couldn't believe it...No, not the huge bag, I mean the 2nd place. You might think it's more exciting to have an iPad as the prize, but as a child who appreciate little things it felt like I won a lottery. Anyways, I was just a fifth grader by that year 1995 and to wish for a gadget which was not yet invented is too ambitious, I went home jubilant.

Pulling my self from the past, it's been so long since I last slumped on the floor and draw with my pencils. My hand is even getting stiff when I do the conventional way of handwriting. And I strongly believe that computer keyboards should be held liable for that.



My hand at work

When life changes its course, so do your priorities. From my passion that lost its fiery, I had constantly admired people having the skills that I don't. And from my own frustrations, I turned out to be a proud fan. As for now, I'm happy seeing my siblings nurture their gifts. Here is one of my brother's masterpiece that keeps my eyes on it. Created through charcoal pencil.



He's into details...



I hope I had developed this much skill...


It was one of the chosen few posted by their professors.


I'm no longer the kid who joins poster making contest, no longer the one who usually sharpens her pencil. But art will always be a part of me. I will always admire creative minds and skilled hands.

With so much comparison to my brother's work, I'm just like that dog on my sketch - failed to catch. Haha. But I knew that no matter how you turn your back from some things, they will always be part of you.
Well, I guess...
There are things that you almost forgot but you will never forget.

20 comments:

WarmSunshine said...

i can relate to this post.. as a kid all i ever wanted to do was arts, but somehow i got into IT as a profession... still every time i picture myself doing something i like, it's definitely art...

wow your brother is so good at this! amazing... i did a little scribbling too... just an amateur attempt, with no training whatsoever... take a look:

http://the-perfect-line.blogspot.com/2010/06/sketches-i.html

:)

Heavenly Muse said...

really the given sketches are awsome

Heavenly Muse said...

well... sensitive minds cant help expressing what they see,what feel and what want to get changed...
sometimes it feels like an addiction but it is a bless in disguise as it makes you feel they you area live in this mundane static insensitive world..hats off to you..

Alpha Za said...

Those sketches are sweeet! An Ipad would have been better, but hey there is always next year.

iriz said...

WARM SUNSHINE yeah, i am his fan. thanks. i visited the link and it's a "wow!" i mean, no training whatsoever. you have the gift! thanks for sharing. have a great day!

HEAVENLY MUSE i agree, so much for this insensitive world. yeah, "sensitive minds" they always have a way to express it. you definitely have it. hats off to you too. :) have a great one!

iriz said...

ALPHA ZA ei, thanks. i'll let my brother know. haha. yeah , an iPad, there's always something great for this digital age. thanks for passing by,great day for you!

goatman said...

Your writing is wonderful. One could call that "art".
I have lately wanted to do something artistic. But my history is engineering;far from the art world. Although I have done some poems.

But I will push on and try to assemble an expression of my life and mind.

Nessa said...

Well, your dog looks good, not as detailed as your brother's but it could be. Your brother's picture is wonderful.

iriz said...

GOATMAN thank you. wow,engineering, that's a tough course. yeah, i love your poems. well, ur writing is also wonderful and with your blog you just assembled an expression of your life and mind. have a great day!

NESSA thanks for that. i'm just glad i still know how to do some strokes with a pencil. lol. His sketch is indeed wonderful. Thanks for being here! you have a great one!

Sam!! said...

Hi Iris,

Lovely sketches...thanks for sharing and visiting my page..hope to have you back..:))

Best Regards,
sam..

iriz said...

SAM Hello! thank you. great to have you here. i will surely get back to your page. see you around! ;)

Marja said...

Your brothers work is ideed amazing but by comparing yourself you don't give yourself a change. Your dog is really good so you got a lot of potential. Just draw for the fun of it and the rest will come.

iriz said...

MARJA that made me realized something. thank you so much. :) yeah, for the fun and the rest will come! you have a great one!

ANNA-LYS said...

Strange,
I got this post as a new post 23 min ago.
But I can see it is an old one :-) Strange things happens, maybe it is a question of climate-change, and the time is moving backwards?!?

Have a lovely new week!

iriz said...

I think that's really weird :). it's great to have you back. yeah maybe it is!haha.

Thanks! You too!

Heavenly Muse said...

hi
waiting for more good words from your side.

iriz said...

hello HEAVENLY MUSE! thanks for having you back here. sorry for the time interval. i just have my new post!

have a great day dear!

iriz said...

hello HEAVENLY MUSE! thanks for having you back here. sorry for the time interval. i just have my new post!

have a great day dear!

Leigh Russell said...

Talent never goes away

iriz said...

LEIGH RUSSELL
hi there! i should agree, i guess there are things that you almost forgot but you will never forget coz it's not just a part of you, IT'S YOU!

have a great day! :)