Thursday, July 12, 2007


They say you have to kiss couple of frogs before you find your prince but i say what if you haven't found a prince...not even a frog? If you're going to fill out a form and it's asking for your status, are you going to indicate it as "single" or "stuck-in-a-rut"? Do you feel hyperventilated when someone ask you "so how many relationships you had?" and you were thinking how to divert the topic to government and politics. Is this society set a standard that pressing you hard and giving you so much pressure about being single in your entire life? Would you believe that being alone is nothing more than being lonely? Ask me.

I never had any serious relationship but that doesn't make me innocent about life and love. At any conversation where love and relationship are main topics i could hardly escape from the question "do you have a boyfriend?", I usually don't answer it with by simply saying "NO" but rather answer it with my big " I NEVER HAD". The moment i say those three words, it never fails...they freak out. Comments like "come gotta be kidding!", "what? are you serious?", "why?" , "girl...when you are planning to have one? at the end of the world?". Sometimes i just don't want to answer the question because that will lead to a more elongated interrogation as if I'm trying to vindicate my self from a heinous crime. Any single heart should be unruffled by these encounters because they don't know the story behind, what you had gone, what your going through and who you are?. If you don't want to elaborate, that's fine. You don't owe them an explanation.

I guess there are three reasons why someone remained single.

First reason, BY CHANCE. Let's say you have this one great love but as far as you want him to reciprocate your deep feeling and be your man all he wants to do is to teach how to perfectly wear lipsticks. Your imagination expound and you're dreaming of that one romantic dinner date with him. Your bare eyes opened and there was he, sitting beside you with bunch of curlers on his head and nails neatly polished than yours. No, you're not inside an elegant restaurant, you're inside a salon! Too bad, your heart was captivated by a full blooded gay. How about this crazy feeling for a married man? All you're hoping for is a happy family but it seems that you'll end up as a home wrecker. As you search for a partner in life all you found is an insignificant other. Somehow by chance is synonymous to no luck.

Second reason, BY CHOICE. You have a beeline of suitors waiting for that three letter word, your sweet yes. They invited you for dinner dates but you declined. Your friends and even your mom persuade you that dates are just fine. You definitely got their point but they don't know these guys, it's not that you know everything but you have this woman instinct that makes you sense who are just playing around. Unfortunately they all fall on the same category. You know you can pick anyone at anytime but that would be fooling around. You're smart that's why you're single. It's not that they're Mr. Wrong, they just aren't Mr. Right.

BOTH, that's the third reason. I'm not really sure how to elaborate on this one. Let me try. It's when having a choice with no luck and having no luck to have a choice. Ah..whatever. We have so much listing for this one and there are real people remained single for both reasons but to cut it short, count me in.

So you're single, a certified single. What's next? Your friends are recommending couple of guys to you, they even orchestrate a date with one of your suitors. So what's this? business? You can't venture in a relationship just because they said so, right? I don't mean you only go for someone you deeply love, go for someone at least you like. Gather opinions but have that final decision. But of course you can't take it against your friends, they just want you to be happy.

So what if there's not even a croak from a single frog, focus on yourself. Always look at yourself in a special way, if you don't, who will? (just kidding). Confidence, that's where everything boils down. Maybe that would even makes you noticeable like that girl on a TV commercial who patronize a facial moisturizer or that guy who sprays body cologne throughout his body.

Maximize your time, learn a lot. Master the art of washing dirty dishes, know how to properly hang clothes, fried egg in a perfect round shape. Do i sound like you're preparing to be a housemaid? Nah...i mean have a sense of responsibility. You might not find your Mr/Ms Right because you're basically Mr/Ms Wrong. Go out with friends, have a life, get that job, explore the world. But don't get too busy, you might missed the ONE passing by.

Of course there are lonely nights, when every thing's down and you need someone to console your heart, let's admit it. You dwell on it but not everything is destined to be the way you want. It's either you got the wrong person or you're at the wrong time. I realized, life isn't a well planned wedding, it's a surprise party! So that ONE might emerge in a very unexpected time.

For now, be happy with what you have and anticipate with what you can get. As they say "it takes a lot of muscles to frown than to smile". Singlehood is an opportunity to take, make the most out of it. And when you're ready, you won't even care if you plunge into that pond with your lovely frog!


My Reflecting Pool said...

The grass is always greener on the other side. I never understood that statement fully until I was married with kids. My single friends want what I have, in their own ways, every so often. Yet there are days I wouldn't mind swapping for the carefree single days.

karma lennon said...

Great post! I've been single now for 2 1/2 years and most of the time I'm fine with it. But I did have the unfortunate fate of falling for Mr. Wrong who seems to be without a doubt Mr. Right. I never understand why we can't just love someone and have there not be limitations, etc. Confusing....

Thanks for your comment on Movie Slayer! :) I don't think vampires like that exist per se but there are people who think they're vampires and the such. Also psychic vampires. Nothing too scary though. :)

polona said...

i have enjoyed browsing through your blog.

thank you for your visit and as for your question, english is not an official language in slovenia, where i live, but i've seen a few signs lately which stroke me as absurd or amusing. the "madness" sigh was one of them. it's the name of a shop selling outdoor clothing and equipment and they have stuff on sale, thus the 40% poster. together they make a funny combination and i wanted to point that out.

Reign said...

hi my reflecting pool!
you know what? your words remind me of my mom.
She used to reiterate the idea of getting married as
if i was speaking to a businesswoman persuading
me to invest on something. I told her i could be single
if fate will let me and she told me not to. My mom
have this fear for me being alone. She wants me
to change my mind. So i did.

hello there karma lennon!
Yeah right, love is really confusing but at one point
you'll end up following what heart dictates. Perhaps
i just bumped with Mr. Right along the way but never
notice him because i used to be Ms. Not Right Now.
It's time to get ready but while he's not yet around
why not enjoy the solo life.

About that unfortunate fate? Well... better inlove
with Mr. Wrong than get hooked by a vampire! haha

good day polona!
really? english is not an official languange in your
place? you got good english huh. Well i guess we have
all one madness here as bloggers, posting whatever
comes out of our mind and enjoying it with great people
like you guys,now that's madness.

Blathering Idiot said...

Thanks for stopping by and your are very right about love, life and perspective. You need to be comfortable with yourself and enjoying the life that is presented. Then, when you aren't looking the opportunities abound, and it is simply a matter of the right one knocking at the right time. Kissing all those frogs will only give you warts; when the prince comes in he does so on his white horse - no frog kissing required.

Reign said...

Thanks blathering idiot(what a name)!

Right, kissing a lot of frogs entails you to have bunch of warts and I won't trade my single status just for warts! haha.

For now i have to play the role of a princess without a prince beside but still look forward on the day i'll ride on a white horse with him.

goatman said...

When love happens, you will know it. It can't be forced, in my experience of 40 years. Till then, enjoy life, be yourself and love yourself. Someone will notice and if he is for you and loves himself it may happen.
Thanks for visiting my blog.

Reign said...

Elow goatman!

I should believe that, from someone who seems to be legitimate in giving such advice based from personal experience.

I love the idea same as your blog!

Dan said...

Reign, thanks for visiting my blog while I was away. You're very sweet to do that.

This is a wonderfully written post. And I LOVE your conclusion. Yes, life is filled with surprises. Don't lose hope. Let's see what's around the corner. We wouldn't appreciate the ups if we didn't have the downs.

Like a rollercoaster. Hugs to you.

Reign said...

Thanks Dan!

It really shows through your blog how great person you are. A lot of us are waiting for your come back! For sure you enjoyed the vacation.

Thanks for the hugs, i found a sweet brother here!

Anonymous said...

hi rheign... very good post...

I like the topic... Its so so what i really need dude. How I wish I could really use it... You can be my love adviser na... lol. ^_^


Reign said...

thnx red! just ping me if you need some sort of advice, no problemo! ;0)