The Dungeon Behind Paradise

My friend and I were striding on the way to their house. Suddenly a woman emerged from the rear, passed through us, running like a thief in search of a place to hide. She reached the gate and grabbed it with fear but before she could let herself in, a sturdy man dragged her out and with his other hand gave a slap on her face. With the sound of its wallop, I felt the pain. But the fumed man found no satisfaction, he beaten her until she fell on the ground. The woman had little strength to fend off and so she took every furious blow of fist from her so called...husband.

They say in any serious matter, keep placid. Right, I didn't even get the chance to move. And while everyone motioned briskly to defuse the man so as to save the woman, I was there, agape and stood still. I didn't panic, I was shocked.

No lights and cameras, no director that will holler "Cut!" to end the gruesome scene. It's not a movie with great casting. Something that I thought could only be seen on TV. It was real and at that very moment, before my bare eyes...it's happening.

The woman was my batchmate during grade school and her husband is my friend's cousin. With how they went through their relationship, the couple is a perfect emblem of a sadistic husband and a battered wife. On that night before my eyelids turned heavy, questions filled my mind.

It was 9 years ago but the resonance came to me when recently my colleague was gone for two days and went back to work with bruises throughout her body. Contusions were gained from her husband who has been physically abusing her. She found him guilty of having an affair with another woman and doesn't help her with the financial responsibilities as a family. Their marriage has been dismal and beautiful. He's dismal, she's beautiful. In spite of everything, she has hope that things will fall into place and her husband's ill demeanor will soon change. I am between pity and admiration with what's going with her and how she sees it.

Once more, my mind filled with questions. How could a man physically hurt his woman? What's running through his mind while doing it and hearing his wife screaming for help? Is there really a point where a woman deserves to be beaten? Does the knight shining armor had a change of heart by pointing his sword to his forgotten princess? Do these men took their words seriously when they vowed " 'Till death do us part " where death means it will be through their own unscrupulous hands? Can you blame the woman if she choose to stay with hope in spite of violence? Why did they tell me that being alone is miserable where in fact having a partner can be more miserable than that?

In a headline from Inquirer (December 06, 2008), one of the leading newspapers in the Philippines, PNP Women and Children Protection Center had given report that indicated case statistics for violence against women. From 4,881 in 2006, cases incremented to 5,729 in 2007, it had risen 17 percent. Cases of 1,892 fell under the category of physical injuries and wife battering. Thanks for the facts and figures but these ain't satisfying most of my questions.

Marriage is like opening a crystal clear gate of paradise where there are beautiful promises ahead. But for some, the paradise seems to reach its end 'coz with few more steps, they're on the way to dungeon. A dungeon where one will struggle to find the way out.


While I'm typing every word in this post all I know is that...Love may have winter season when some things turn bitter cold but respect, despite the weather changes, must be kept fairly warm.

A Cut of Diamond

It's funny how arduous it is for me to fill up the field "About Me". I don't know, I just can't describe myself or maybe I'm not sure if I'm picking the right word. Only in my resumés I was able to forge myself for description where I have to indicate that Iriz is a dedicated person while pondering "Am I?".

'Till my best bud asked me to post "25 Random Things About Me". I even bargained if I could make it 2+5 random things instead, I only need 7 then. But anyways, let's not break the chain. Here's my homework and at end of it, we have bigger space to share your own cut.

"25 Random Things About Me"

01. A bit off- I'm not a vain person. I don't try hard when it comes to how I look. Less make up. I'm not perfectly pristine as if always ready for a photo shoot. I'm not a mess though, just someone imperfect but knows how to take care of herself.

02. Intro Amnesia- I'm not good with names. So after an introduction from a common friend and we bump into each other, I would start guessing whether your name is Stephanie or Stephen. After hours of convivial conversation as if we were long lost friends, forgive me if I'll say "Sorry...what's your name again?" (Well of course that does not apply here, we weren't introduced but yeah we bumped into each other *smile*)03. Not Right- I'm a left handed.

04. Folded & Hung-If there are ladies anxious and taking time to prepare about what to wear the next day, I'm not one of them. Only 2 things bother me, a job interview and a big event, other than that, as long as everything's folded and hung, tomorrow's what-to-wear will be fine. Pull out that jeans, pull out that shirt, mix and match and then I'm good to go. I don't prepare, I do it on the spot.

05. Piercing- I got 3 piercings on my body, 2 for the pair of my ears and another on my navel. No plans to add more.
06. It's a Must- When I was a kid I used to believe that there's a monster underneath my bed and a blanket was my shield of protection. Now, I realized how stupid I am to have that kind of imagination but I had outgrown that blanket, I can't sleep without it. Even in sultry temperature, I still need one to at least cover my feet. Without a blanket it feels like I'm sleeping naked.

07. Irresistible- I could resist a handsome guy but not a body massage. LOL. Anyways, who can say no for relaxation?08. Collections- Silverworks accessories, beach pebbles/stones, books, magazines, price tag, mistakes.

09. Shoe Wrecker- My mother told me "I really suggest you buy shoes made of steel". Most of my shoes don't last, not even the ones made in Marikina (A city in the Philippines where you can find the best shoemakers). I've been observing my feet if there are some sort of sharp teeth or alike but I found none. Or maybe because even though I have other pairs of shoes to wear, I always wear the most comfortable one. I use it everyday 'till it fed up on me.

10. Turn it Off- I can't sleep with lights on. I'm not sure if there's a scientific explanation for that but for now all I know is I can't. I just can't.
11. Chocolate Drunkie- I have tasted all, if not, almost all chocolate drinks in the market. When I'm not in a good mood, a sip of chocolate drink can sedate me. Maybe it's true that chocolates provide happy hormones in your body.

12. Adventurous- I'm just thinking life can't be entirely stagnant.

13. Turn it On- During rest days when I have so much time for general cleaning, I can't do better without the music on. With dust and dirt I let the music play and when I'm carried away I use the broom as a microphone. Crazy, I know.14. Hard-to-Gain -I don't have a diet, I eat anything I want as long as it's not alive and well cooked. I have a close friend, we eat almost the same amount of food and I would sometimes initiate for an invitation to eat out and she would burst "You're hungry again?!". I feel guilty 'coz while her body keeps ballooning, I remained slender. By weight, she's frustrated to lose and I'm frustrated to gain. I have a fast metabolism so might as well take advantage of it.

15. It Runs Through- My father has a Chinese blood, my mother has a Spanish blood. Now, I'm not sure what do I have, It could either be Chinish or Spanese.

16. It's the Color- I have a pair of eyes that doesn't lie but seems to make me a liar. One asked me "Iriz, how much did you pay for your contact lenses?". Busy riffling through folders, I took a pause and responded with wonder "Me? Uhm...I don't wear one...". and then he said "Oh come on...". Since then I have to convince others that I'm not really wearing one. I don't! and you have to believe me! It's not a pretty pair of eyes though, there are just instances that my eyes turn hazel brown but it's not something noticeable unless in a closer look and more apparent only when struck by light.

17. Id Rather - In some situations, I'd rather have nothing than to have something that I don't really like. You can't forge satisfaction and there's no trick for happiness but to get what you really want. Again, in some situations.

18. Form of Relaxation- I could spend 30 minutes for taking a bath and if it's my rest day when I don't rush, I could spend an hour. Yes, of course, I am certain that a guy like you hates a girl like me. As my brother would shout "You've been in a bathroom for so long! Are you planning to have a vacation or live there for good?! Then I would holler "Neither! Just bring me some pillows and a blanket, an overnight will do!
19. LOL -I am an incurable giggler and I love people who make me laugh. Sometimes I would laugh not because of the joke you crack but I am laughing just because of how you laugh.

20. Never Been- I want to be... a field reporter, an astronaut, a secret agent, an author, a scientist, a photographer, a chef, a pilot, a mother. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a piece of "wanna be".

21. Balanced- I am a person who takes time to mingle and takes time to be alone.

22. Shake Me - My sister once told me in a sulky mood "Know what? Asking a help from you is always been so easy but finding where you are is the hardest one". My sister always need me for an opinion or at least a conversation 'coz I am someone who can be serious and silly at the same time. She needs my time and she demands it. And with her few words, I guess I've known myself somehow. Better shake my busy world rather than just waiting 'till I come out and when I come out I'll make up for those times I was gone. Because of her words that threw me one of the guiltiest feelings, now I couldn't resist when someone insist.

By the way, meet my sister, she turns green when feels upset.

23. Mark - I have a birthmark on my left leg that took me time to realize what it is because of it's light color. I thought it was a dirt or something but when scrubbing with soap and antiseptic alcohol didn't let it go away then I knew that tiny map-like is part of my skin.

24. Conscious - I'm a health conscious person (something I don't realize not until my sister told me I am) believing that it always start from within. I get sick when my body don't sweat, that's why I enrolled in a fitness class. I spend my spare time by going to the gym. Not sure if you'll agree with me but you won't look good unless you feel good.

Oh my... I can't believe it, Im almost done!

25. I do and I dont- I don't smoke. I drink, occasionally.

Now, I realized a list of 25 isn't enough. LOL. But again, I won't break the chain so I'll stick on it.

Okay, okay...so when I say "Diamond", you know I'm pertaining to YOU, right? Now it's your turn! Give me that cut, tell me at least one thing or anything about you that you'll be glad to let me and let us know.

We have a bigger space down here. Let's do it randomly. Who'll go first?!

Another 365 Days

Another year gone by and a new one is welcoming a smile. In retrospect, the past 365 days became a mirror of ups and downs, laughters and tears, friends and enemies, success and failure, peace and war, love and hate. I'll keep the good memories and learn from the bad ones. I don't expect life to be perfect for this year but just like you, I'm looking forward for something better. There are lot of things that I am thankful for, you're on the list. Thanks for staying around!

I have some unfinished businesses and all of them will be carried over. As usual, I have plan B's just in case plan A's won't work and since things didn't work well for me recently, I'm thinking maybe I should have plan C's or maybe up to plan Z's :). I'll try to learn three new things for this year and others that will come my way. I'll satisfy my greatest frustrations, in fact, I just began.

New year's resolution? I guess I always have resolutions though the year haven't start afresh. Continuously learning from my own blunders and others goofs, trying new things and swearing to heaven with stars as my witnesses that I won't do such thing again (stars won't spill it out, just in case). But yeah, new year's resolution, why not? For now , I'll make a mental note of it. ;)

I'm wishing you guys a great year ahead. Good health and happiness. More posts for all of us!

And as long as you stay around, I'll watch over.

Happy New Year!!!

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