Monday, January 29, 2007

Don't you think it's time?

So its been years, you got your own life. New environment , new people. Not interested in meeting someone particular from the past but since this is a small world, boom! You two just bumped into each other. What will you do? Will you fumble from nervous breakdown? Will you let that encounter be the extension of those bitter days? Or will you embrace the moment with bouyancy, show that you're someone who have grown from the past and just moved on?

No right answer but to look at it like a game, your actions and reactions will determine who lose and who wins. No markdowns, just earning more points.

Someone began to open up. With a common friend, she met the guy she'd never seen for years. Their memories aren't that bad but i guess sometimes shit happens and things ended up not so well. She was there to give that simple "hi" and "hello" but the guy's demeanor doesn't fit the friendly intention. Her presence was somehow not appreciated.

Avoid if you can avoid (i do that) but the moment your roads crossed and your eyes met, you gotta handle it. No one can punish you for the grudge you've been keeping for years. Take this...everyone just stepped out from the past and closed the door. Don't leave yourself behind. Years are enough.

At one point, i felt like i don't have the right to encapsulate this idea. In the first place, i hated someone for more than three years (forgive me). He was related to my family so avoiding him wasn't that easy. I treated him like an air, existing but unseen. I couldn't utter his name coz it sounds like a bad word for me, it cuts my eardrum. I hated him for a reason that is too personal and what he did is something i will never forget 'till my last breath.

You read it right,
i will never forget but i did forgive. He heard nothing from me and he suffered from it because i, whom he betrayed was the one who unexpectedly helped him most. I did it without any concern but my action was inevitably in favor of him and the fact that he couldn't look straight to my eyes is enough for revenge.

How was i able to handle it with a bit of grudge? I reserved a little respect. Inside my mind there was an argument whirling around. One said "he doesn't deserve respect" while the other whispered "ei, your just human...it's a reason i can accept but please don't act like God"

So I said " Okay, fine..."

Currently, i can't still utter his name but we got conversations. Though it's a short conversation, i respond if necessary. Right, years are enough and it start from that little respect.

You can find another route for your way but like an angle that reached the vertex- a point where two lines intersect then take a pause...there could be a reason and don't you think it's time?

2 comments:

Ebenezer said...

do i know the person/s involvedin this post?

just kidding, you're right it's been years, three years to be exact, but maybe there are some things that doesn't really need to end by having a closure.


If they're gonna meet again, sana kasama ka na. lol

Re!gn said...

ikaw tlaga...
i'm generally speaking here ok and no you don't know them.lol

as long as pursued by fate, i'm always willing to meet anyone (i'm just too busy you know. lol)

if it's going to be fate then there's no way to find another route.