Auditory Sense

It became a usual scene, a table between as she seated in front of me like a purring cat gone insane.

"Iriz, tell me what must i do?" she asked.

"Get out of it. You just told me...that man is still living with his wife who will give birth few months from now. One day you'll have your own family and I'm sure you won't be glad to know your husband is having an affair with his employee." I gave my advice.

"But I love him." She retorted.

We all know that the word "but" is a conjunction where two phrases are joined together, the word is usually in between. In her case, "but" is where everything begins.

"Sometimes you have to choose what is right over what you want. I'm telling you, it's a mess." Me, pressing it harder.

We've been discussing the issue for the nth time. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advice, i gave her one. She sought for advise... guess what? I gave her one. And as we looked at it in a split overview, it seemed we're both consistent.


For couple of days she'd been struggling with flu. I bought her medicine and kept track of her intake. She told me it's not just a flaming temperature, once again she's being attacked by her cervical infection. It was her major health problem for years but stopped to get medical assistance when she began to feel better.

"Don't you think it would be better to consult a doctor? I'll accompany you." I insinuated and so we did.

I was waiting at the lobby, she slowly approached and with her pale face I'm not expecting her to tell me she's fine.

"What did the doctor say? " I was gleaning for details.

She clutched my hand as if I'm going to run somewhere. I could feel her trembling flesh and it began to bother me more.

"What?" In a demanding tone, I asked.

"I-t-s p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e." She stammered.

Few words followed, enough for elaboration. I looked into her eyes and I saw the break of the dawn. A tear didn't easily fall but it surrounded her eyes like a deep well of fear I could not fathom. In my mind, I found a scant vocabulary to pick the right words that would console her. It's more than just a cervical issue...

She got a Sexually Transmitted Disease...

The doctor asked her to go back with her partner but it never happened. The guy she used to love ditched her in the middle of abyss. Then there came darker revelations, her colleague, the accountant, was also having an affair with her boss. It's a circle of fools and I hate to know she belonged.

Did you ever come to a point when you sought for advice, you got the best one but you just didn't take it?

I did.

Now I'm thinking about my parents. From the kitchen, my mother would usually remind me in a shrill voice.

"Iriz, make sure that you bring umbrella, I think it's going to rain!"

"Yes Ma, I gotta go. Bye." I responded with a little lie just to leave her at peace.

Then I wafted through the door without any umbrella at hand believing it's going to be a sunny day but it turned out that my mother was right. The next day, I was not feeling well.

Sure, I didn't get STD on that day but that made no difference between me and my friend. I am just like her. Sometimes...

We hear but we don't listen...

Hearing is using your auditory sense. Listening is processing the data that was gathered by your auditory sense. So hearing is just hearing alone but listening is hearing that requires thinking. Do I make sense?

It's good to rely on our own judgement and consider certain actions, by then we can call ourselves " DECISIVE". But that doesn't mean we have to shut our mind from external opinions and concerns. You might not know how these few words can save you from trouble. Hear, listen and weigh things over.

Years had passed and regarding health and emotion my friend fully healed.

And yes, my mother doesn't have to shout as I leave the house. Rain or shine, I always have my umbrella on the go.

Are you Sensitive Enough?

Can you read between the lines? Have you sense the conflict? Are you aware of the real thing? There are arrays of ways to rephrase it but i guess the real question is "how sensitive are you?".

I laid the reversed question to one of my colleagues. "Would you consider yourself as someone insensitive?. He responded with another question "Who would admit he is?". By then i got what i need to hear followed by stories on the surface of his six months relationship with his girlfriend.

"I'm average, i can be sensitive and insensitive if necessary" he continued.
"Necessary? what does it mean? a sound of puzzled from me.
"I tend to be insensitive when i want my girlfriend to realize things, we have issues just cycling around. Whenever i act as if i don't care, she stopped.
I giggled with his answer, it was so real but i told him that won't always work.

I always believe that there's no such person as insensitive, everyone knows. They just prefer to be in the zone of silence, fear of making the initiative, maybe afraid of confrontation or keeping themselves from dreaded reality and making insensitivity as a form of denial. Through my personal experiences and people involved, that belief i reared with to be a fact turned out to be just a mere opinion.

Not all people are good in distinguishing non verbal cues. Not all can reach the core of each or anyone's emotion. Not all care about, not because they literally don't care but because "they don't know". Funny for me to know but yes, they just "don't know".

Let's take the worst scenario. In psychology, we call them alexythemic, people who are emotionally tone deaf. They can't distinguish their own and anyone else's emotion, because of that, they're having a hard time expressing themselves. Ridiculous isn't it? (am afraid, i belong, haha). Imagine yourself crying after watching a movie and when asked what particularly made you cry, you don't know what to say and you can't even justify the feeling. They are emotionally dysfunctional. For me that's more than insensitivity.

Since human have this gift of emotion incomparable to any living animals, we should be thankful that we "feel" and it's great that in any way we "show". We just have to remember that emotion is essential to action and action is essential to emotion.